and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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