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• (212): View more from New York

  ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

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• (212): View more from New York

  btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied

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• (858): View more from California

  Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up

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• (916): View more from California

  Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  How about we just have a naked taco night instead?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She is beauty she is grace

  (301): View more from Maryland

  she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i thought you had class

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms

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