So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's shark week go big or go home
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
