don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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