Me too!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
