you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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