I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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