just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
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No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
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Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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