Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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