hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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