Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
