i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
