Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
