I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
