Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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