You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
