Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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