Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
