I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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