Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
