Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
