I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
