fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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