So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
