He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
