Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
why is half of my head shaved?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
