if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have fence marks all over my body
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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