he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
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Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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