You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
