If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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