whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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