Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
