so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
