They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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