She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
