I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
