Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
