Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
How external is "for external use only"?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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