Christians are straight up FREAKS
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
