I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila