David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag