Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order