Say something about gay babies.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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