I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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