dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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