You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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