Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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