Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
