with your own penis?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize