Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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