you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize