***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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