i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
