Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
