babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
