Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
