Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
