1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
