This is not my ceiling
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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